How Can You Identify Personal Core Values for Authenticity? (PLUS: 6 Useful Steps!)
Living by personal core values brings empowerment and fulfilment. When we are not in alignment with our core values, we suffer physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Knowing your personal core values empowers you to make the best choices for you.
Personal core values are a part of us, and yet many of us are unaware of them. If asked what your core values are, could you name and fully define them? It’s not surprising that many people think they know their values, but their actions display otherwise!
Values: An Inner Compass
Our true core values highlight what is close and dear to us, and they should reflect our unique, true essence. Our values guide our behaviour and act as our internal compass as we walk our path through life.
Most of us don’t know our values because society, our parents, culture, and the media dictate to us how to behave. Too often, we unwittingly adopt values of others because that’s all we know.
Without self-reflection and self-discovery, most people live their lives based on a values system that isn’t theirs. We tend to idealize certain values, especially honesty, loyalty, respect, and honour, without truly understanding what they mean personally.
What Are Your Values?
I am going to challenge you now and ask you:
Are you currently living your life defined by values that aren’t truly yours?
Can you list personal core values that highlight what is most important to you?
Do your current core values support your quest for an authentic life?
Let’s not jump the gun here! I want you to take a creative and self-discovery journey to explore your personal core values.
Let’s start by taking a deep breath and permitting yourself to access your inner truth without resistance. Allow new insights to emerge as you unpack the following steps.
Step 1: Choosing Words to Describe Core Values
When choosing words or feelings that best describe what is most important to you, use a values list to guide you. There are hundreds of values lists available online, or you can ask yourself the following questions to discover your own choice of values:
What was a meaningful moment in your life, and what values were driving you during that time? (Also known as the Peak Experience exercise)
What must you have in your life to experience empowerment and fulfilment?
This step can take time and honest reflection. Try to come up with a master list of 20 – 30 words.
Step 2: Grouping Similar Core Values
Read through your master list of values and group relatable words:
Accountability, responsibility, and responsiveness are all related and could be in one group.
Values like learning, growth, and development could be another group.
Connection, belonging, and intimacy can be grouped.
Go through each group and use your gut feeling to identify which word best defines your ultimate value for a particular grouping.
Step 3: Building a Personal Core Values System
You are now ready to construct your personal core values system that represents you as an authentic being. From the list of words you selected in Step 2, choose 10 of the most important values that reflect your true inner nature and define how you want to live your life.
You can break down your list by asking the following questions:
Which values are essential for living an authentic life?
Which values represent my inner truth or my way of being as an authentic person?
Which values are vital in supporting my well-being?
Step 4: Adding Context to the Core Values
When you have completed your list of values and have added a description for each one, set them aside for a day or two. Return to them with a fresh mind and ask yourself the following questions as you read through each value:
What feelings come up when I read my values?
Do they resonate on a deeper level with me?
Do they belong to my authentic identity or to someone else?
If you need to make some changes, go ahead and do so. It’s important that your personal core values match your desire to live an authentic life and that they are a true reflection of your inner nature.
Step 6: Honouring Core Values
Now it is time to observe if you are honouring your personal core values by the way you live your daily life. At the end of each day, you can go through your list of values and rank how well you met them throughout the day. 1/10 means you didn’t align with your values and 10/10 means you lived fully in alignment with your values.
Self-Reflection Questions
When have I felt particularly angry, hurt, or mistreated recently? What value was being trampled on, and what could I have done to avoid this misalignment?
It is my 90th birthday, and my adult grandchild asks me what values made me stand firm in my truth. How would I reply?
Which of my 10 values do I rate as the most important one, and why?
"Values remain unchanged over time, acting as internal anchors and stability through uncertainty." — Frank Sonnenberg. How do these words of wisdom make you feel, and do they inspire you to create your own personal core values system? If so, why?
Final Thoughts
Your personal core values act as your inner compass guiding you on the path that is right for you. They can help you make the best decision for your well-being, especially during stressful or life-changing experiences.
Taking the time to define your personal core values is a worthwhile investment in your personal growth and transformation journey. My personal core values are framed and kept on my desk, and while I know them off by heart, I still read through them when I need guidance in making decisions or handling difficult situations.
I honour and respect my core values and aspire to live by them every day to ensure I stay authentic. For many of my clients, this exercise was one of their biggest “aha moments” and led them to make important decisions for their future.
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