How Can Self-Awareness and Self-Acceptance Help Me Live With a Disability?
Living with a disability (or two) is challenging, but through self-reflection and self-awareness, you can live a full and meaningful life. I've discovered this through my own journey with disabilities, and I'm grateful for the lessons I continue to learn because of being physically challenged.
I share my story not to seek sympathy but to inspire others facing a disability to pursue a purposeful life and become inspirations for others in a similar boat. I believe most of us live with a disability, if not physical, perhaps mentally or emotionally. Self-empowerment is key to facing challenges successfully!
My First Disability
I was born profoundly deaf, although it was only discovered when I started primary school. I had mastered lip-reading at a young age, making it difficult for many to realise I was hard of hearing. I wore hearing aids from 6 years, and 2 years ago I was fortunate to be fitted with a cochlear implant, which has been life-changing.
Being hard of hearing came with many challenges, including limiting beliefs that I was not good enough, attractive enough, or worthy. I was introverted and struggled with social gatherings. Somehow, I got through school and went on to college to study nature conservation.
I worked in the environmental education sector for over 28 years before becoming an awareness and transformational coach. While I felt a lot of shame around my disability and struggled with low self-esteem, I was blessed with a positive and resilient nature that allowed me to move through life experiencing both highs and lows.
My Second Disability
However, when I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa in 2017, my world was shattered. Not only was I profoundly deaf (and getting worse), but I was partially sighted and no longer allowed to drive. My independence was being threatened, and I felt trapped and angry.
However, my personal growth and development journey kept me steady and allowed me to explore proactive ways of managing a new disability.
I trained to use a white cane, which mortified me initially. Having my disability so publicly displayed was extremely challenging for me, especially as I had always hidden my deafness behind a mop of hair!
In 2018, I underwent genetic testing, and I was diagnosed with Usher Syndrome Type 2, a rare inherited genetic disorder that causes progressive hearing and vision loss. While I was devastated by the diagnosis, my positive outlook on life helped me through what could have been a negative, life-changing event.
How Self-Reflection and Self-Awareness Leads to Empowerment
If you are living with a disability, choosing to self-reflect and grow your self-awareness is an internal state of being that can support you in living a full life. Self-reflection and self-awareness let you understand your condition and find ways to navigate challenges while maintaining your well-being.
Self-reflection and self-awareness allow you to:
Understand your personal limits and recognise when you are overextending yourself. This will help you prevent burnout.
Self-awareness teaches you to listen to your body and to know when your energy reserves are running low. Signs such as muscle tension, fatigue, anxiety, irritability, and brain fog indicate that you are feeling overwhelmed and need to slow down.
Reflecting at the end of your day helps you identify which environments drained your energy quickly and how to pace yourself better the next day.
Self-awareness requires you to understand your disability and its limitations. You are now better equipped to express your needs and spot triggers that could derail you. You can develop strategies for supporting your work and personal life.
Not Letting Limitations Define You
Knowing your limitations lets you set clear boundaries with employers, work colleagues, family members, friends, and caregivers. This prevents misunderstandings about your capabilities and having unrealistic demands being placed on you.
Self-awareness helps identify triggers that create emotional reactions such as frustration, resentment, anger, or withdrawal during difficult times. This helps prevent destructive patterns or habits that can hold you back from living to your full potential.
Using Strategies to Manage Disability Limitations
Practicing my Stop. Pause. Reflect. Respond. strategy empowers me to step back and introspect before choosing the best response to challenging situations. I have learnt that when I am stressed, my eyesight worsens. This used to frustrate and even scare me, making me behave in unhealthy ways out of fear and exhaustion.
Now, when my eyesight is worse than normal, I know it is a sign to stop and pause. This could mean taking a 15-minute break from work, sitting outside in nature for as long as I need to, or taking a power nap to recharge.
Self-reflection and self-awareness have taught me to conserve my energy levels by preparing for the day ahead. This includes an early morning routine of meditating, doing gentle exercise, and reading my core values and goals for inspiration.
I schedule my day to ensure my needs are fully met without compromising my well-being or my authentic self. I have learnt to focus on what I need to maintain my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self.
Practicing Self-Compassion and Self-Love
Self-compassion goes a long way toward embracing my disabilities.
Self-reflection and self-awareness led me to practice self-love and self-acceptance. I've realised that my disabilities don’t define me and that I am worthy. I have also realised there is infinite potential no matter what disability we are living with and that we need to believe, have faith, and trust in possibilities.
Self-acceptance helped me accept my reality without letting it stop me from living a full and meaningful life. I have emotional stability; my confidence and self-esteem have grown exponentially, and I focus on my strengths and abilities.
Instead of saying “I can’t”, I choose to say, “I can”.
How to Manage the Bad Days
This doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days. My disabilities can drain me, and I do get very scared sometimes if I allow myself to think too much about my prognosis. I still retreat when it gets harder than normal, and I still experience moments of negative self-talk.
But through self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-acceptance, I have reduced how much time I spend feeling sorry for myself.
Through self-awareness and self-acceptance, I have learnt to master my environment, discovered what fulfils me and gives me purpose, and acknowledged that my disabilities have many benefits too.
Self-Reflection Questions
What emotions and beliefs am I holding onto regarding what my body can or cannot do?
How can I reframe negative thoughts about my disability that are stopping me from living a full and meaningful life?
How does my daily routine support my well-being, and if it doesn’t, what activities, tasks, or tools cause unnecessary resentment or frustration?
What is my body telling me right now about my stress, pain, or fatigue levels?
Shane E. Bryan, a published author, digital artist, and American software solutions architect, was diagnosed with dystonia, a progressive neurological movement disorder. His widely known story showed his determination and resilience to overcome his disability.
“I do not have a disability; I have a gift! Others may see it as a disability, but I see it as a challenge. This challenge is a gift because I have to become stronger to get around it, and smarter to figure out how to use it; others should be so lucky.”
How can your disability become a gift, and how does it make you unique?
Final Thoughts
Living with a disability means changing your perspective on how you live life. I am grateful for the opportunities that encouraged me to be proactive and to choose optimism over despair.
Self-love and self-care have allowed me to manage my condition daily while preserving my well-being and honouring my body with respect. One of the greatest benefits of my disability has been the kindness, compassion, and respect from the people I meet on my journey.
I choose to define myself through my authenticity, not my disabilities. You can do the same by embracing your adversities with love and integrating them into your state of being.
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