Updated: Jun 10, 2022
Do you know what your Values are? I'm sure right now you're counting them off - honesty, integrity, trust, respect, etc, etc, etc. But can you, in all honesty, claim those to be your true personal core values? Or, have they been adopted because your parents have them as their own values and drummed them into you from a very young age?
What are values anyway? And, why am I even talking about them today? Read on if you want to know why having your own personal core values system is one of the most empowering gifts you can give yourself.
What is a Value?
In life coaching and personal development terms, we refer to a personal value as something that is most important to you. It's the feelings, personal beliefs, ideas, and behavior characteristics that you hold close and dear to you.
Your personal values help you to determine what is most important and what is less important to you. They allow you to make the best decisions for yourself. They also allow you to base your judgment on situations because of your values. Your behavior, attitudes, dislikes, and likes are all grounded in your values.
How to Formulate Your Own Personal Values System
There are many approaches to formulating your own personal values system. The one I use in my own life coaching program is simple. My client is given a list of words that describe a range of feelings and emotions. I ask them to go through the list and identify which words resonate deeply with them.
Normally, they'll identify anything between 10 and 20 different words. I then ask them to break the list down to 6 feelings that are true to them. A lot of thought goes into this process and my client will find themself going backward and forward between the options available.
When they're not sure about picking a particular word, I ask them to decide if the word describes what they want to be or what they learned others wanted them to be. I ask them to give a full description of that word so they can conceptualize the meaning of that word for them.
The Benefit of Having Your Own Personal Values
Coming up with a list of words that describe your own personal values system is extremely empowering. You're now taking ownership of who YOU are and how YOU want to live your life. Each and every one of us is unique and special. So, why shouldn't we have our own values to live by?
Your values system, in essence, is a description of who YOU are. When you fully believe in your own values, you've created a guiding system for yourself. The next time you need to make a life-changing decision, you can refer to your personal values system.
Ask yourself if making the change is going to impact your values positively or negatively. If the answer is negative, well, I guess you've got your answer!
I refer to my personal values system as being my compass. It shows me the way and steers me in the right direction - always.
How I Developed My Own Personal Values System
When I looked at my values system, I identified the Values I had currently in my life and then I listed a Values system that I aspired to. I use my own values to empower me to move forward, to live the life I truly want to live.
To be honest, I spent about three weeks reflecting and pondering over my own values. I decided the list I normally use with my clients didn't really resonate with my true SELF. This led me on a journey of finding the right words to describe my essence. It wasn't easy until I read through my Osho Zen Tarot book.
I use the Osho Zen Tarot cards on a regular basis for inner work and the more I worked with them, the more I discovered that most of my Personal Values resonated with the words used in this tarot deck.
I would like to share my Personal Values system with you and challenge you to identify and list your own Values system. You'll be amazed by how empowered you'll feel once you can put a name to the Values you would like to embrace in your own life.
My Personal Values system that I aspire to :
Existence – “Home” is not a physical place in the outside world but rather an inner quality of relaxation and acceptance. We are One with the stars, the rocks, the trees, the flowers, fish, and birds. Feeling “at home” wherever I am (reference: Osho Zen Tarot).
Love/Friendliness – With those close and dear to me, I wish to have relationships that are mature, natural, and at ease with one another. I wish there to be no sense of “urgency” about connection, no neediness, no desire to change the other into something else. It is love that is truly unconditional, without expectations or demands. A broader take on Love is compassion for all of humanity and other living and non-living beings of the world around me (reference: Osho Zen Tarot).
Shamanism – to be a healer on all levels.
Abundance – being whole. Rich in body, rich in science, rich in meditation, rich in consciousness (reference: Osho Zen Tarot).
Integration – Symbol of self-creation, new life, and mystical union (alchemy).
Innocence – A life fully lived has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever-changing wonders of life (reference: Osho Zen Tarot).
Health – To be emotionally, physically, and spiritually balanced (reference: Osho Zen Tarot).
Patience – It is the greatest treasure to be able to wait for the right moment (reference: Osho Zen Tarot).
Playfulness – The ability to see life as non-serious, full of laughter (reference: Osho Zen Tarot).
Ordinariness – To find fulfillment by having extraordinary moments become ordinary moments. Beauty, joy, and happiness can be found in the simple, ordinary things of life. (reference: Osho Zen Tarot).
This Personal Values system inspires me. I use it more and more to base my decisions on, to guide me to make the choices right for me, and to bring me a sense of joy, peace, and harmony. It empowers me to love and feel loved, to have more wisdom and understanding about the world around me. I will be “rich” in every sense of the word.
It highlights to me the importance of taking care of myself and my health. It gives me the courage to be the transformational healer and life coach in the most effective way that will contribute and empower others to grow through their own personal development.
I truly believe, every day, my personal values system will steer me towards a life of fulfillment and ultimately, to living my true life purpose in this life. I urge and encourage you to do the same by knowing and living by your own, true Personal Values system.
Contact me today if you want to discover your own persona values system. You won't be sorry!
PS: Read Christopher D. Connors' book, "The Value of You: The Guide to Living Boldly and Joyfully Through the Power of Core Values" and discover how you can reclaim your life.
This post was originally published on March 18th, 2021, and updated on June 8th, 2022.
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