For the first time in nearly five years, since I started meditating on a regular basis, every night, I have not been able to meditate. It has only been a week but I miss it. I am not sure what is going on and why, after fifteen minutes of sitting with my eyes closed, I find myself getting agitated, my legs are restless and I just cannot seem to settle down. I try counting my breaths to calm my mind down, but the more I do that, the more my legs and mind go crazy! I am not sure what is going on – maybe I can blame it on the recent Mercury Retrograde (wink! wink!) or even the hectic energies we have recently been experiencing with eclipses book-ending each other in this month. Whatever the reason, what this experience is making me realise is just how powerful meditation has been for me.
When I first started meditating, it was as simple as counting my breaths from one to hundred and then back again to one. I would do this for five minutes, then stretched it to ten minutes and before I knew it, I was doing an hour every night of meditation. One of the first things I recommend to my clients is to bring meditation into their lives. Many of them would ask me if meditation works. It depends what you are expecting to get out of meditation to determine whether it works for you.
For a long while, I was simply grateful to be able to sit quietly, in my Place of Wellness and simply BE. I then began to use meditation as a form of communications with my spiritual guides – just like prayer. Other times, my meditation would take the form of journeying either to explore aspects of myself that are so deep within or to assist with healing of myself or my clients. Most times though, meditation gave me silence, calmness and a sense of grounding.
Does meditation work? After a week now of not being able to get my daily dose of silence, calmness and grounding, I can definitely say that I am missing it. A week of not meditating has also made me look harder at myself and discover the benefits of meditation for my general wellbeing. The changes meditation brings are very subtle. There are no bells and whistles but suddenly one day you realise that you are dealing with life experiences in a different, more constructive and accepting way. You respond rather than react more often than not. You are more connected with your true inner self.
Fortunately, while I am not getting my daily dose of meditation at the moment, I haven’t suddenly reverted back to my reactive ways and that missing down-time through meditation is not the end of the world. However, I would be very sad if I would not be able to return to this powerful practice soon. At the moment, I am just accepting that it is what it is. I am grateful for experiencing this moment of disquiet as it’s a confirmation for me that mediation does indeed work.