On Saturday the 6th of April 2024, my partner Paul and I got married in a celebration of life, love, and marriage. After being in a relationship for ten years and surviving three difficult and at times, dark years, we felt it was time to share our commitment in front of special friends and family.
It was a day of celebration, love, and unity with those who helped us to find the light at the end of the tunnel again. One word that kept coming through strongly before and during the event was “kindness” and it struck me once more just how powerful this act is.
Helping others helps us and whether you’re the giver or receiver of random acts of kindness, you always walk away feeling happier and less alone. Keep reading as I talk about the power of kindness and why it matters to be nice.
What Does Science Say About Kindness?
While being kind is very nice, it’s vital for supporting our overall well-being. Studies have proven that kindness supports our mental and physical health whether you’re witnessing it, giving it, or receiving it.
But what does science say about kindness? Check this out:
Kindness triggers happiness: Acts of kindness release a hormone called dopamine in our brain, contributing to a happier mood and overall well-being.
Acts of kindness slow down aging: Oxytocin (also known as the love hormone) is produced when we demonstrate or receive acts of kindness. This hormone is known to slow down the aging process as well.
Kindness boosts heart health: The production of oxytocin releases a chemical called nitric oxide responsible for expanding blood vessels and reducing blood pressure.
Acts of kindness build healthy relationships: Being nice reduces emotional alienation between two people, allowing for bonding and a deeper connection.
Kindness causes a ripple effect, encouraging others to be kind and gentle with each other.
What is the Power of Kindness?
The science of kindness highlights how it boosts our well-being in more ways than one. No matter how small your act of kindness is, it has the power to impact yourself and others positively.
Not only does it cultivate social connection, trust, and acceptance between people but it increases your happiness as well.
Furthermore, the kinder you are to others, the more you get back! Being kind influences the behavior of those around you, encouraging them to be nice. When you focus on kindness and make it a daily habit, you will notice that you’re well-liked by many.
Acts of kindness can:
Boost confidence and self-esteem
Build empathy
Improve someone’s life
Create a positive community
Reduce isolation
Help keep things in perspective
Kindness is powerful AND empowering. It makes the world a better place to live in and it’s so easy to do once you commit to being kind.
5 Tips to Practice the Art of Kindness
1. Extend Kindness to Yourself
Practice showing yourself kindness while being kind to others. Set the intention to demonstrate the same behavior you give others to yourself and reap the benefits. You are equally worthy of kindness as anyone else and you can be kind to yourself by:
Using positive and gentle self-talk
Practicing gratitude
Not saying to yourself what you wouldn’t say to others
2. Commit to Making Kindness a Daily Habit
Turning kindness into a daily habit enables to you take positive action every day. Start each day by asking yourself, “What acts of kindness can I do today?” It could be something as simple as smiling at a stranger while commuting to work or volunteering at a meal kitchen.
Make a list of random acts of kindness that you or someone else has performed and commit to practicing as many of them as possible daily. Taking action is the best way to show your commitment to kindness.
3. Focus on Others
One of the shamanic principles Paul and I strongly believe in is, “Where attention goes, energy flows.” When you focus on others by showing them kindness, energy will flow. Happiness, connectivity, trust, mutual respect, and compassion are some of the positive aspects that will flow when you are kind to another person or creature.
When you set the intention to be kind to others, you increase the energetic vibration around that person, making them feel loved and valued.
4. Be an Active Listener
Most of us only listen to respond! Being an active listener means you hear and feel everything someone is telling you. You're giving them the space to share whatever is on their mind. That person will feel heard and valued which releases hormones such as dopamine and oxytocin.
Actively listening to someone helps them to reduce stress and anxiety. It also gives them a sense of belonging. Being a good listener means paying full attention and focusing completely on what the other person is saying.
5. Be Willing to Help
Offering a helping hand can be extremely powerful, especially when someone is struggling. Examples of this could include:
Paying for someone’s groceries
Helping a colleague with a work task
Sending inspirational quotes to friends and family in need
Spending quality time with a lonely relative or friend
Walking beside someone who is battling an illness, addiction, or grief is one of the biggest acts of kindness you can offer a person who struggles to ask for help.
How Kindness Helped Me Face Difficult Times
Being a giver of kindness can make a world of difference to someone who is facing difficult times. Our wedding day showed me how much acts of kindness from others have gotten me through some of my most challenging and darkest moments in recent years.
I will always remember with gratitude the following acts of kindness:
Lovingkindness support: My brother and his family, despite their loss and grief, stepped up when Paul and I needed them most. They lifted me when I couldn’t use Uber, shared meals with me when I was alone, and did shopping for Paul while he was in recovery.
Connection: My friends checked in daily, sending me inspirational or humorous quotes or just asking how I was. They gave me a safe space to unpack my fears and have a good laugh. My one friend kept her weekends open for me while Paul was in rehab. My other friend often picked me up and took me out for lunch and even treated me to a long weekend at a spa.
A lifeline: Paul was offered a lifeline when he needed it most and is now in a workplace that fulfills his purpose in more ways than one. Indirectly, this act of kindness has given me a sense of certainty and peace once more.
Healing support: My shaman teacher focused on my healing needs by keeping in contact in all ways, always.
Knowing that I was surrounded by so much love and compassion kept me going and for that, I am eternally grateful.
Final Thoughts
Complimenting others, saying “thank you” or “I am sorry, and shining your light are all acts of kindness. We underestimate the power of kindness and yet, it can be the lifesaver someone needs to keep on keeping on.
From my personal experience, I know that receiving kindness encourages me to be kind to others. I feel loved, cared for, and less lonely and as a result, wish for others to feel the same way.
If we could all commit to practicing kindness daily we could transform the world into a better place for all beings. How about that?