One of my life coaching sessions talks about taking control of your life so that you can achieve your goals, stay in alignment with your values, and avoid self-sabotaging behavior. But what does it look like to take control of your life and why does it put you in the driver’s seat?
There’s one key word that many people shirk from and that’s what I want to talk about – responsibility. For many, this word feels heavy, ladened with perceived burdens, and unwanted obligations. But, let’s explore it and discover how taking responsibility puts you in the driver’s seat.
Responsibility: The Ultimate Key to Freedom
Yes, you’ve read that right – taking responsibility for your life IS the ultimate key to freedom. Taking the driver’s seat comes with responsibility and if taken seriously, keeps you in your lane while allowing you to steer the direction of your life.
Responsibility allows you to take control of who you want to be and where you want to go without relying on anyone else to tell you what to do. When you are responsible for your life you:
Become a leader: You no longer belong to a flock of sheep that blindly move through life!
Grab opportunities: You embrace new possibilities every day which boosts your personal growth and development.
Find happiness: The degree to which you take responsibility for your life is the degree to which you will be happy.
Keep your personal power: The more responsibility you take for your life, the more you take back your personal power.
Taking control of your life liberates you and allows you to pursue the path of growth and development. You’re no longer the victim because you have chosen to be courageous, self-reliant, and resilient.
5 Empowering Tips on How to Take Responsibility for Your Life
1. Identify Bad Habits and Replace Them With Good Ones
Bad habits hold you back from being the best version of yourself! We often develop bad habits to avoid taking responsibility for our lives. Many of your bad habits prevent you from dealing with difficult emotions (comfort eating or smoking anyone?), lead to procrastination, and diminish your personal power.
Taking control of your life includes identifying those habits that are destructive and result in self-sabotaging behavior. The next step is to make a list of good habits to replace the ones you’re removing from your life.
For the next 21 days, take note of your bad habits and journal about them. At the end of three weeks, compile a list of your bad habits and replace them with new empowering ones. Shifting old habits that no longer serve you for ones that boost your personal growth and empowerment puts you back in the driver’s seat.
2. Install an Empowering Belief – “I AM Responsible”
Installing empowering beliefs helps you to rewire your brain by telling it what you want to believe in. Creating a simple mantra by saying or writing, ‘I AM Responsible” 10 to 20 times a day reprograms your thinking process.
An important tip! When working with affirmations it's vital to attach feeling to your mantra. Repeating the words “I AM Responsible” endlessly with no emotion will get you nowhere fast. Attaching feelings such as excitement, success, and love to your affirmations increases their energetic vibration, making it easier to rewire your thoughts.
Writing your empowering beliefs on sticky notes and keeping them visible in your office or home space reminds you to focus on positive words.
3. Stop Blaming Others
It’s very easy to blame others for your perceived failings in life and yet, the minute you do that you’re giving away your personal power. This removes you from the driver’s position and puts you in the passenger’s seat instead!
By blaming others, you’re allowing them to impact your life in a significant way that doesn’t empower you. Observe your thoughts and actions for 7 days and identify when you blame someone for your unhappiness, misfortunes, or anger.
Listen to the words you speak. If you often say something such as, “Thanks to (name), I can’t afford to leave my toxic working environment”, realize that you’re in blame mode. Ask yourself, “Does this person have control of my life or do I?”
When blaming others, you’re giving away your responsibility and personal power. When you choose to find solutions to problems and act, you’re no longer allowing another person to significantly impact your truth.
4. Take Note of Justifying Behavior
Do you justify a situation or blame circumstances when something goes wrong? Justifying behavior sounds something like this, “I can’t travel internationally anymore because I am too old” or, “I can’t find a job because I don’t have my own transport.”
If you often default to justification ask yourself, “Am I in or out of control of the situation?” Similar to blaming people, justifying allows circumstances or situations to impact you negatively. Likewise, you’re back in the passenger’s seat letting something else take control of your life.
Think about this – every time you justify your actions, you lie to yourself and others. Every time you justify (or blame), you lose confidence and self-empowerment. Taking note of justifying behavior is essential if you want to be in the driver’s seat of your life.
5. Take Action
You are who you are and where you are in life because of actions you took or didn’t take. That’s a bitter pill to swallow, especially if you feel you’re the victim of your circumstances or the people in your life.
However, not taking action keeps you stuck in a negative space that doesn’t allow you to grow and transform.
When you choose action, you’re taking responsibility and empowering your life. Whenever you find yourself playing the victim role, stop, step back, pause, and reflect. Repeat your mantra, ‘I AM responsible” (with feeling!), and then ask yourself, “How can I solve this situation/problem?”
Finding solutions is a strategic approach that enables you to take control by doing something that takes you out of your victim mentality. You’re taking ownership of your life by tapping into your personal power and taking positive action to change things up.
Watch this video and discover how Danny Opheij took action and found himself in the
driver's seat of his life.
Bonus Tip: Enroll for a Life Coaching Program
For the longest time, I refused to take responsibility for my low self-esteem. I blamed others for toxic relationships, for being bullied at school, and for not living my dream life. Upon a moment, a personal tragedy forced me to look long and hard at myself.
It wasn’t a pretty sight as I realized I was playing the victim instead of taking control of the steering wheel. I chose to be in the back seat.
My personal growth and development journey started late in life but I’m glad I chose to take action and took responsibility for my life. I did two things – I explored shamanism with my phenomenal teacher, Lionel Berman, and I enrolled to become a life coach with New Insights.
My life coaching training opened up a whole new world for me as I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and self-empowerment. You don’t have to become a life coach to discover what I learned but you can enroll in a life coaching program that equips you with practical self-empowerment tools.
The benefits of a quality life coaching program include:
Putting you in the driver’s seat of your life
Empowering you to think and operate with an open mindset
Enabling you to change your attitude and become proactive
Taking you out of a reactive state by teaching you to be responsible
Life coaching allows you to reclaim your truth and achieve your goals while living your purpose wholeheartedly. When you can do this you’re living a meaningful and fulfilling life that aligns with your values all the way!
Final Thoughts
Taking responsibility for my life has changed the way I look at people and situations. It forces me to find solutions so that I can live freely without feeling stuck, stagnant, or anxious about my path.
Taking control lets me sit in the driver’s seat and stay in my chosen lane as I continue on this journey called LIFE.
Taking responsibility has allowed me to transcend to another level of growth and transformation. Response-ability allows me to choose how to respond rather than react.
If you’re struggling to get out of the back seat, contact me today, and let’s talk about life coaching - it's one of the best things you can do to take back your personal power.