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How Love as a Goal Brings Certainty to Your Life



There’s no doubt we’re living in uncertain times. Countries are tossing missiles at each other, corrupt politicians are gunning for top positions in governments, and intolerance is destroying human relationships on all levels.


With so much global chaos, it’s no wonder we’re struggling to make sense of our world and the uncertainty it brings to our lives.

 

Mind you, none of this is new; if one looks at history, uncertainty is a common theme that exists in most human lives. Yet, certainty is one of the most basic human needs and if it’s not met intentionally, in a healthy way, you’ll end up violating your truth.


So, what does love have to do with it?

 

Why Love as a Goal Brings More Certainty to Your Life

Another fundamental human need is love and connection. We all seek a sense of belonging with someone, within a tribe, in our families, and society. We all want to feel loved and when that happens it brings us to a place of certainty.

 

However, when love becomes conditional, unhealthy behaviors emerge – codependency, emotional manipulation, and enmeshment are some of the ways we try to control those we “love.”


This kind of love brings instability and leaves you feeling unsafe in yourself and the world.

 

By making love a goal, you identify what isn’t working for you and why you behave like you do to meet your need for connection. Focusing on unconditional love allows you to unravel the (conscious or unconscious) conditioning that drove you to meet your need for belonging in unhealthy ways.  


What is unconditional love and how does it bring certainty? My favorite definition is borrowed from Osho Zen’s Tarot when he describes friendliness and the co-existence of two trees standing side by side, their crowns merging, but their roots and trunks apart:

 

“It is as if heaven and earth are bridged by love. But they stand individually, each rooted in the soil in their own connection with the earth. In this way, they represent the essence of true friends, mature, easy with each other, natural. There is no urgency about their connection, no neediness, no desire to change the other into something else.”

 



This to me describes the essence of true love and it requires each person to be certain in themselves. And, I borrow again from Osho, this time from his book, “Tarot in the Spirit of Zen – The Game of Life”:

 

“…first be certain about yourself. And a person who is certain about himself is certain about the whole world.”

 

Love is all-encompassing and by this, I’m not only talking about our romantic relationships. Yes, to love and to have the love of that ‘someone special” must be the soul purpose for many of us.


But, love plays a role in all areas of our lives, from our families to our community to our work colleagues, friends, pets, and the world. Without it, our life journey becomes dull.

 

“Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit it makes the ride worthwhile.” Sean Connery. 

 

How Love Brings Certainty to Your World

 

The Act of Self-Love Brings Certainty

Do you love yourself? It’s not unusual if you haven’t considered this question before. I only started asking myself this question ten years ago and the answer was painstakingly revealing. I was ashamed of myself and considered myself ugly because of my disabilities, and not worthy of anyone’s love let alone mine.


It took years of hard inner work and self-love to start valuing who I AM. Writing in a self-love journal is a powerful and empowering tool. Download this amazing "Self-Love Challenge Journal" from our Free Spirit Store and discover how to transform yourself in 30 days!

 

The more I loved myself, the more certain I became about ME. My world shifted from one of fear to one of pure love for all that surrounds me. The act of self-love brought me to a place of certainty I never thought possible.

 

Be certain within and about yourself and your need for certainty will be met always, in all ways. Love is the purest and finest way to do this. But, if you don’t love yourself, you’re going to find plenty to hate about others and the world in general.


Practicing self-love should be the first step to achieving your love goal.

 

Forgiveness Cultivates Love

Mother Teresa once said wisely, “If we really want to love, we must learn to forgive.” Forgiveness is the essential ingredient for emotional well-being, personal growth and development, and for restoring broken relationships.


When you can forgive, you can love with an open heart. It allows you to heal, to connect, to belong, and to live a fulfilling life.

 

Forgiveness allows you to release anger which is beneficial for the mind, body, and soul. When you can forgive, you’re focusing on love rather than fear which is good for your spiritual well-being.


Forgiveness boosts your sense of connectedness with others, which in itself brings more certainty to your world.



 

Love and Empathy Are Connected

Unconditional love allows you to be empathetic. When you understand yourself better, warts and all, and embrace both the light and dark of your Self, you have a deeper understanding of others.


Your capacity to love elevates how much you care for others and with empathy, you can ensure others feel loved, safe, and certain about their place in the world.

 

Empathy allows you to handle difficult people or situations with understanding and compassion. By placing yourself in someone else’s shoes, you can show them love and empathy without any judgment.


Love and empathy build stronger relationships, improve connectedness, and enhance your emotional well-being. When this happens, you’re meeting your need for certainty.

 

Love and Kindness Are Powerful Medicine

When you love yourself, you’re being kinder and gentler with yourself. When you love others unconditionally, you can be kind and gentle with them too. Acts of kindness can be as simple as giving a smile or saying something nice to someone.


But, it’s empowering and creates certainty in your and the other person’s life even if it’s only for a moment or two.

 

Love is a state of being that includes essential ingredients such as kindness, empathy, and forgiveness. You can learn to be kind but it’s more powerful when it’s driven by love and integrity.  


Some of the benefits associated with kindness include:

  • Being healthier and living a longer, happier life

  • A greater sense of connectivity with others

  • Less loneliness

  • Better relationships

  • Reduced feelings of depression and anxiety

 

“Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness in people.” - Roy T. Bennett


If that doesn’t bring you a sense of certainty, then I don’t know what will!



 

Love Gives Your Life Meaning

Life is a journey and while you’re taking the trip, you may as well make it meaningful. And, I believe that healthy unconditional love for all that surrounds me makes my life rich, purposeful, and joyful.


It gives my life meaning, it meets my soul purpose to empower others (and myself) to become better versions of themselves.

 

I believe in love. It gives me hope and a sense of security within myself and the world around me. The more love I can share, the more meaningful my life is. Receiving healthy unconditional love is equally important – it adds balance to my overall well-being while enhancing my life journey.


Love gives my life meaning which makes it certain even when I’m surrounded by so much uncertainty.

 

Final Thoughts

While the world continues to fight wars with neighboring countries and people let fear rob them of love, there will be uncertainty. Call me a daydreamer, but I strive for a gentler, kinder world and I believe taking responsibility for my actions and words does matter.


I can choose to be hateful, resentful, intolerant, and unloving. Instead, I choose love.

 

But, I had to love myself before I could fully understand the power that comes with this state of being. By no means have I reached this perfect state but I make it my intention every day and when I fail, I choose to be kind and gentle with myself.


I forgive myself for unkind words or thoughts because, after all, I am only human but I make sure I choose love before the fear overwhelms me.

 

It’s been a relatively new realization that love brings certainty to my world no matter how chaotic it is. With that love, I feel balanced, calmer, intuitive, and certain about who I am. Only then could I feel certain about the whole world.

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