When you say "I should..."
"The Queen of Clouds lurks in the minds of all of us who have been brought up with rigid ideas of good and bad, sinful and virtuous, acceptable and unacceptable, moral and immoral. It's important to remember that all these judgments of the mind are just products of our conditioning. And whether our judgments are applied to ourselves or to others, they keep us from experiencing the beauty and godliness that lies within. Only when we break through the cage of our conditioning and reach the truth of our own hearts can we begin to see life as it really is" - Osho Zen
I borrow, once again, the wisdom and understanding of my Osho Zen tarot cards to discuss a word that highlights a part of our personal beliefs system. So often, when working with clients, they will announce, quite resignedly, “You know, I should be doing that” or “It’s so frustrating, but I should do that” and I look at them and ask them why? Why “should” they be doing that? Is "that" what they really want to do or is "that" something they feel they “should” be doing because it is expected of them? It's like watching a light bulb come on as they take a step back, at first wondering why I am challenging them on using that word "should" and then, it dawns on them that what they feel they "should" be doing maybe is not what they want to be doing or in fact, need to be doing at all.
We all need to be very aware of the word “should” in our own vocabulary and when we catch ourselves using that word we need to step back and look hard at what we were saying we “should” be doing. Ask yourself this question – “Where am I responsible for this?” Often the answer will surprise you as you begin to realise that what you “should” be doing is actually what someone else thought you “should” be doing based on their own beliefs systems and not on your own beliefs system.
As the Osho Zen tarot card “Morality” explains – it is “through the cage of our conditioning”, what we have been brought up to believe by others, that leads so often to us using the word “should” when we perhaps can replace the word “should” with “I could” or “I would”, claiming back our own identity, our own power, as to how we want to see a situation play out in our lives. As you say “I could” or “I would”, ask yourself now the question, “Who is responsible for this now?” and acknowledge how empowered you feel as you reach your own Truth.