What 14 Years of Self-Discovery and Personal Growth Has Taught Me (Lessons to Empower You to Explore Your Truth)

Fourteen years ago, things happened that made me slowly realise that something had to change if I was going to live a better life. Despite knowing that, it took me another two years before I was forced to make a choice – do I continue in chaos, or do I start finding my authenticity?

In 2014, I met my shaman teacher and started the long journey back to Self. I had a deep inner searching for something, but I didn’t know what that was. All I knew, instinctively, was that I had to change. What started as a persistent nudge fourteen years ago became a quest to find my truth.

The Journey to Truth and What I Discovered Along the Way

After two disastrous marriages, some personal tragedies that shattered my world, and the constant “knocking” on my door by something unknown, I knew it was time to go inwards. At the time, I had no idea what it meant to take an inner journey, but I listened to my shaman teacher, and slowly it all made sense.

The self-discovery and personal growth journey isn’t an overnight fix. Nor is it a comfortable path to take! It requires self-commitment and a willingness to go deep and acknowledge the dark and the light. Fourteen years down the line, I look back over my journey to truth, and it amazes me what I’ve learnt along the way.

I was blessed, at the start of this personal journey, to discover my passion for transformational coaching and empowering others to learn what I was learning. The lessons I share in this article help you open that door and let your authenticity walk right on through.

Using My Lessons to Encourage and Empower You to Discover Your Truth

Our Conditioning Is Not Our Truth

From the day we are born, we’re influenced by experiences that define our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Depending on your past experiences, you may subconsciously think, feel, and act in ways that aren’t authentic. We carry the stories of those who raised us during our childhood.

I discovered that people-pleasing, playing small, passive aggression, self-righteousness, judgment, and seeking validation, to name a few, were learned behaviors that didn’t serve me. They also didn’t serve those around me.

Self-discovery helped me to see what beliefs were driving my emotions and actions. It empowered me to unpack and let go of conditioning that wasn’t mine to carry. Personal growth tools and techniques taught me to break the cycle and reclaim my inner truth. It required introspection and self-awareness, key aspects to shifting my old identity.

Personal Growth Isn’t a Linear Process

I’ve learnt that personal growth doesn’t follow a linear path. Just when you think you’ve nailed an aspect of your old identity, it rears its head most spectacularly and unexpectedly. It’s a “one step forward, two steps backward” journey all along, but the more you master it, the better you get at handling the triggers and setbacks.

Personal growth is a cyclical process. You’re learning, unlearning, and relearning all the time. The biggest lesson I learnt was that there will always be triggers or events that make you default to old patterns if you’re not aware of your unconscious thoughts.

Self-empowerment has taught me to cultivate self-awareness and to stop, pause, and reflect before responding. Accepting that personal growth isn’t a linear process but rather spirals of growth, with periods of stagnation or silence in between, allows me to navigate the inevitable challenges.

Emotional Conditioning Has a Bigger Impact Than We Realise

Repetitive exposure to certain experiences, places, or people can shape your emotional conditioning and reactions as an adult. When you associate a trigger with an emotionally charged event, your emotional response or reaction becomes a firmly entrenched habit. Over time, you become addicted to those emotions and behave accordingly.

Stress, fears, and other negative stimuli are triggers for conditioned emotions, influencing how you behave in adulthood. Learned emotional responses start in early childhood and can include anxiety, fear, anger, resentment, discontent, bitterness, and pleasure. I had to unlearn and relearn so that my emotions wouldn’t continue to be the master of my actions.

One of my favourite teachers for exploring this concept is Dr. Joe Dispenza. He says, “Warning: when feelings become the means of thinking, or if we cannot think greater than how we feel, we can never change. To change is to think greater than how we feel. To change is to act greater than the familiar feelings of the memorized self.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdhEbuN5C5Q

Personal Growth and Change is a Choice

No one told me I had to change. In hindsight, though, I do remember the raised eyebrows, sighs, and disapproving looks that were indicators I was heading down the wrong path again! However, when I paused long enough to hear and acknowledge it, my inner voice was telling me to make a choice. What would it be?

I grappled with the concept of finding my Self. I had no clue what it meant to be authentic or that there was a truth within me waiting to be discovered. But my intuition told me there was something deeper than the mask I was showing the world. I learnt that we all have a choice in how we live our lives.

The personal growth journey is a conscious and deliberate choice to change. It requires honesty and a willingness to face your shadow. Personal growth gets messy, uncomfortable, and painful at times. But the day I chose to change is one I will never forget nor regret. The journey continues, but what I’ve learnt thus far has been worth it.

Awakening Our Authenticity is Liberating

Going inwards and reflecting on your authenticity means unpacking and releasing what no longer is yours to carry. It requires identifying your limiting and empowering beliefs, rediscovering your core values, and understanding the basic human needs that drive healthy or unhealthy behaviours.

The journey to authenticity requires:

1. Courage to let go of who you thought you were to become who you are.

2. Embracing vulnerability.

3. Setting healthy boundaries.

4. Silence and patience.

5. Practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and journaling.

I learnt that awakening my truth didn’t happen overnight and that it’s an ongoing process. I believe it’s a lifelong journey of learning, integration, and persistence. I’ve discovered that it’s the key to freedom, which can be lost quickly if you’re not mindful or practicing self-love.

Mind, Body, and Spirit Integration is Essential

When I first entered the foray of personal development, I thought it all had to do with the mind. I firmly believed that my thoughts were the key drivers to changing my old personality.

However, I quickly learnt that no change was lasting without integrating mind, body, and spirit. True healing of the self requires understanding that we’re holistic beings and that our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual entities are deeply interconnected. Wholeness can only be achieved when we recognise this and strive for harmony between our entities.

Integrating mind, body, and spirit is essential for creating a wholehearted life that supports your wellness and keeps you aligned with your truth. Mindful living, embodied development, and a holistic approach to well-being are crucial for staying in touch with your authentic self.

Choose Your Teachers Well

I’ve been blessed to have started my inner journey with an experienced spiritual teacher and shaman, Lionel Berman. His innate wisdom, gentle but firm guidance, and deep understanding guided me through some of my hardest phases of personal growth and transformation.

I’ve been following Dr. Joe Dispenza for many years, too, and find his teachings incredibly empowering and in alignment with my truth. His meditations have brought me to a place of profound truth and peace, something I’ve searched for all my life.

Finding the right teacher for your personal growth journey is an absolute must. What was important to me was working with teachers who value their integrity. No one can take responsibility for your change. Only you can take control of the steering wheel, but having a wise teacher walk with you goes a long way to keeping you on the right path.

Final Thoughts

Choosing love over fear, showing forgiveness for myself and others, practicing gratitude, honouring my Higher Power, and rewriting my stories to match my truth are things I’ve learnt to value. Refusing to give in to self-pity and victimhood (or at least minimizing these behaviors) is a big takeaway on my personal growth journey.

The self-discovery journey teaches you to be responsible for how you think, feel, and act. This allows you to stay aligned with your true self, no matter the circumstances or people you’re dealing with. Getting comfortable with and owning your shadow self is empowering. Personal growth gave me back my freedom, and that's liberating.